Logo_launch_secondary-ac9a063ddf2d2741f1d3eb43e11b60f2 Mighty Quest for Epic Loot

Post Icon Quoth the lizard....

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400 Posts

Joined 2012-09-06

February 20, 2014 00:40 (almost 2 years ago)

With a mere 4 days until Open Beta, I thought to repost the most amazing fan art to ever come out of Mighty Quest. I take no credit for this epic parody. It was written some months ago by user 'Santiak', though I have taken the liberty of cleaning up grammar/spelling, plus a couple rhyming errors. I don't know if he ever got a Beta key for his efforts, but I certainly hope so. Enjoy :)

Once upon a looting session, while monsters fighting weak and weary,
Over many a shiny and magic items of untold riches,
While I plundered, nearly dieing, suddenly there came a nagging,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at the castle door.
"'Tis some adventurer", I muttered, "tapping at the castle door -
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the main chamber,
And each seperate shiny coin wrought its' ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the riches; - vainly I had sought to plunder
From the castles that I conquer, conquer for the great Reward -
For the rare and radiant treasure that the adventurers name "Reward" -
After this, even more.

And the tortured creek of every chest
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic joys never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating:
"'Tis som adventurer gaining entrance to the castle -
Some untrained adventurer gaining entrace to the castle, -
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my arms grew stronger; hesistating then no longer,
"Sir", said I, "or Madam, truly your nagging I abhor;
But the fact is I was looting, and so quietly you came nagging,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at the castle door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peered, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Plunderings, dreaming dreams of riches I've never dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Reward!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Reward!"
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the castle turning, all the riches with me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I "surely there is someone at the drawbridge;
Let me see then, who threatens, and this mystery explore -
Let the loot be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
"'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Down I lowered the wooden passage, when, with many a gurp and burp,
In there stepped a stately lizard of saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with the mien of Lord or Lady, walked through the castle door -
Walked through the halls just within the castle door -
Walked, and stared, and nothing more.

Then this emerald lizard beguiling my loot frenzy into smiling,
By the grave yet distant decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy master be rich and famous," I said, "thou art surely just a pet.
Profoundly absent and lounging lizard wandering the castle floors -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on this Castle's Golden floors!"
Quoth the lizard, "Loot no more."

Much I marvelled this absent-minded pawn to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living looting hero
Ever yet was blessed with seeing lounging lizard in this castle's many halls -
Pet or Predator in this castle's many halls,
To enforce the notion "Loot no more."

But the lizard, standing in his owner's castle, spoke only,
These few words, as if his soul in those words he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a scale then he bristled -
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other heroes have come before -
With the riches I will leave here, as I have before."
Quoth the lizard, "Loot no more."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its' only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmercifal disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his castle no treasure bore -
Till the chests of his castle that one promise bore
of "Loot, loot no more."

But the lizard still beguiling all my loot frenzy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a magic sword in front of lizard and loot and more;
Then, upon the chest sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous lizard of yore -
What this profoundly absent, lounging, lethargic lizard of yore
Meant in croaking "Loot no more."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
to the lizard whos dreary eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head on hand pondering
On the treasure chests that the torches gloated o'er,
But whose treasure with the torches gloating o'er
Rewards to take, I can loot no more!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, purfumed from an unseen censer,
Swung by Stinky Warriors whose foot-falls clanked on the stoney floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "Thy master hath lent thee - by these monsters he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Reward!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Reward!"
Quoth the lizard, "Loot no more."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still if lizard or guard! -
Whether owner sent, or whether chance tossed thee to this place,
Dumbfounded yet all undaunted, in this castle that hold riches -
In this home where loot is stored - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there loot near the Throne? - tell me - tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the lizard, "Loot no more."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still if lizard or guard! -
By the loot that lies before us - by the castle's riches here -
Tell this soul who wishes to conquer, within the distant Throne-room,
Shall I grasp a shiny item whom the adventurers named Reward -
Grasp a rare and radiant item, that the adventurers named Reward?"
Quoth the lizard, "Loot no more."

"Be that our sign of parting, lizard or fiend!" I shrieked upstarting -
"Get thee back into the pantry and thy lord's sleeping chamber!
Leave no green goop as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my dreams of loot unbroken! - quit the halls of this castle!
Take thy snout from out my heart, and take thy form from out this treasure-floor!"
Quoth the lizard, "Loot no more."

And the lizard, never flitting, still is standing, still is standing
near the loot of the chest of this castle's treasure-floor;
And his eyes have all the scheming of a sedated sloth that is dreaming,
And the torches o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor,
All this loot, I shall loot no more!

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Joined 2013-02-01

February 21, 2014 14:08 (almost 2 years ago)

Now thats someone who was motivated

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